They say the best way to enjoy a new city is to listen to what its cabbies have to say. New York/ New Jersey cabbies are not ones to hold back their opinion anyway, going by personal experience. Surprisingly profound thoughts can be picked up along the ride. And anecdotes too. Ones that can make you smile. Or wish you had walked instead.
A few weeks back, we went grocery shopping on Indian street. Now, I have been brought up like a Good Indian Girl. That means at any point of time, I have to have enough in the kitchen to feed atleast an army of a thousand. Naturally, we had to call a cab on our way back, although in hindsight I think a truck would've been a better idea. Anyway, we got in, catching our breath from carrying the bags for 20 seconds. The cab driver asked where to and began to drive. Then, quite harmlessly, he looked in the rearview mirror and asked, "Indian?"
We nodded happily, sensing this would be one of those conversations about the Warmth and Friendliness of our People.
Umm, not exactly. This is how it went.
Cabbie: Indian?
Us: Yeah...where are you from?
Cabbie: Egypt...
Us: Oh great!
Then the husband pips in with the greatest ice-breaker of all - food.
H: I love Middle Eastern food...Baba Ghanoush.
C: (beaming like he invented the thing) Yeah! Very nice!
The cross-cultural camaraderie should have been left at that. But no. The cabbie continued.
C: You know, few weeks back I am walking this area. I find a wallet on the road, with a Green Card and around 150$ cash. I think, poor guy, he be worried, maybe I should try to find him. I call a friend who was in military. Somehow, we try very hard and he finds out phone number of the guy. I call him and say,"Hey, I got your Green Card." He comes to collect it. Indian man. He be very happy. He thank me. And then, he give me two dollars.
This is where I started turning a light shade of red.
C: I start laughing. I think, I be bringing back this guy's Green Card and he is giving me two dollars!
This is where I started moving towards crimson.
C: Then he ask me, "Are you happy because I give you two dollars?"
This is where I mentally killed the man who is single-handedly wrecking our countrymen's chances of ever being considered normal. I mean, think about it. Who in the world can have the gall to reward a Green Card Rescuer two dollars? Many, you say. Not in all countries does milk and honey flow like the U.S. of A. Aah, maybe true, but who in the world can have the gall to reward a Green Card Rescuer two dollars and then actually ASK him if he is laughing out of sheer joy at being rewarded?
Thankfully, the cabbie was also a Bollywood fan. He hummed the tune of 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge' to prove to us his adoration. He described how he had got his wife addicted to the tearjerkers as well. And as we unloaded the boot, he said 'Badshah Khan' was the best hero he had seen. Day saved. Who knew Amitabh Bachchan also rescued national reputations along with shrieking heroines?
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Add Two Hours Thirty Min. Change Day to Night.
The time difference between Mumbai and New York might as well be a few light years. There's a dustbin every twenty steps. Supermarkets are the size of small countries. People don't just make their own beds, they build them (assemble, the word is assemble) with their own two hands. They call 10 degrees 'pleasant'. (That's before the wind blows them away to some unknown planet and you laugh malevolently...well, as malevolently as your chattering teeth would allow.)
So here's my two paise on the Big Apple. First impressions and all that.
- Everything they said about it being like Bombay is true. And not. For one, the trains are always on time. And there's no one singing 'Tum dil ki dhadkan mein...' while you look around for a knife or something. But, every couple of streets or so, you'll see this guy playing the drums, the water cans and the soda bottles in a way that would make Sivamani proud. And walking down Times Square, with and against the multitude, dwarfed by endless skyscrapers and blinded by the lights, one gets the same feeling as he would walking down Fort on a balmy March evening. It's the vibe (Dammit, I swore not to use cliches for half a day).The feeling of being part of a great big bunch of people all on the top of their game, rushing to/from work, sipping coffee and courteously nodding at each other between fistfights with screaming cabbies with vocabs more colourful than an Asian Paints colour swatch.
- Everything is huge. Not big, huge. After several visits to the supermarket, I have devised a simple formula for quick shopping:
a. follow the signboard to the section that says 'fresh produce'.
b. create a mental picture of the fruit/vegetable you want.
c. enlarge that picture to ten times its actual size. For eg., if it's a lemon you're looking for, imagine a watermelon.
d. look around. There it is!
Voila! Works every time.
- Every fourth person you meet is a local. No kidding. Atleast that's the way it is on Times Square. When I asked for directions, 90% of the people gave me a confused, apologetic look followed by a smattering of words in languages I've never heard, and probably wouldn't recognise even if I had, such are the accents.
- The people have a sense of humour, never mind the inexplicable sacking of employees who so much as even think about websites that Go Against Company Culture and Policy. (Dear Employee, As per company policy, we prefer lavender soap. How dare you look at the rose-scented soap, you ungrateful, hopeless...)
Sorry, lost my way there a bit. As I was saying, the people have a sense of humor, and more often than not, I have been on the receiving end. Why, my first conversation with an American was followed by much guffawing on his part and belated enlightenment on mine. Where? At Newark airport. I landed at six in the morning and was wheeling my baggage out of customs, when accidentally, my trolley went smack into the glass door instead of the open area right next to it. The security guy, African American, looks at me and says, "Maymmm, you gottan international drivers licence?" I almost told him I didn't before I realised he was grinning.
All in all, an interesting place. And a very interesting mix of people. Perfect for a good laugh. Or some tireless rambling, as it may be.
So here's my two paise on the Big Apple. First impressions and all that.
- Everything they said about it being like Bombay is true. And not. For one, the trains are always on time. And there's no one singing 'Tum dil ki dhadkan mein...' while you look around for a knife or something. But, every couple of streets or so, you'll see this guy playing the drums, the water cans and the soda bottles in a way that would make Sivamani proud. And walking down Times Square, with and against the multitude, dwarfed by endless skyscrapers and blinded by the lights, one gets the same feeling as he would walking down Fort on a balmy March evening. It's the vibe (Dammit, I swore not to use cliches for half a day).The feeling of being part of a great big bunch of people all on the top of their game, rushing to/from work, sipping coffee and courteously nodding at each other between fistfights with screaming cabbies with vocabs more colourful than an Asian Paints colour swatch.
- Everything is huge. Not big, huge. After several visits to the supermarket, I have devised a simple formula for quick shopping:
a. follow the signboard to the section that says 'fresh produce'.
b. create a mental picture of the fruit/vegetable you want.
c. enlarge that picture to ten times its actual size. For eg., if it's a lemon you're looking for, imagine a watermelon.
d. look around. There it is!
Voila! Works every time.
- Every fourth person you meet is a local. No kidding. Atleast that's the way it is on Times Square. When I asked for directions, 90% of the people gave me a confused, apologetic look followed by a smattering of words in languages I've never heard, and probably wouldn't recognise even if I had, such are the accents.
- The people have a sense of humour, never mind the inexplicable sacking of employees who so much as even think about websites that Go Against Company Culture and Policy. (Dear Employee, As per company policy, we prefer lavender soap. How dare you look at the rose-scented soap, you ungrateful, hopeless...)
Sorry, lost my way there a bit. As I was saying, the people have a sense of humor, and more often than not, I have been on the receiving end. Why, my first conversation with an American was followed by much guffawing on his part and belated enlightenment on mine. Where? At Newark airport. I landed at six in the morning and was wheeling my baggage out of customs, when accidentally, my trolley went smack into the glass door instead of the open area right next to it. The security guy, African American, looks at me and says, "Maymmm, you gottan international drivers licence?" I almost told him I didn't before I realised he was grinning.
All in all, an interesting place. And a very interesting mix of people. Perfect for a good laugh. Or some tireless rambling, as it may be.
Monday, March 2, 2009
The Other Side
The whole 'loss-of-independence-are-you-sure-you-are-ready-for-marriage' business is highly exaggerated. But then, we havent shared a bathroom yet ;)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
It Takes One To Know One
Went shopping for my trousseau today. We stopped for a bite at Breach Candy, at The Right Place, for their amazing sandwiches. So I went in and started talking to the guy making the thing. Next to me in the queue is another girl in her late twenties.
Me: Bhaiyya, brown bread, aloo nahi, pyaaz nahi, cheese nahi, paneer chalega.
Girl: (looks at me and smiles slightly) Soooo...when are you getting married?
Me: (After a little eye popping and a very sheepish smile) Errr...Feb
She: Hmmm...figured it was close by...the only time I dieted like that was before D-Day.
:)
Me: Bhaiyya, brown bread, aloo nahi, pyaaz nahi, cheese nahi, paneer chalega.
Girl: (looks at me and smiles slightly) Soooo...when are you getting married?
Me: (After a little eye popping and a very sheepish smile) Errr...Feb
She: Hmmm...figured it was close by...the only time I dieted like that was before D-Day.
:)
Monday, December 8, 2008
Much has been read, seen, heard and spoken about 26/11. Our best and our worst have suddenly been laid bare for the world to see. Jammed guns, bullet-proof vests that are not bullet-proof, and a blithering idiot who took his sonny and a gangsta-specialist movie director for a 'tour' of the Taj.
Every time I think it cannot possibly get worse, or more disgusting, it does. Our politicians outdo themselves in making a comedy out of this tragedy. The joke, unfortunately, is on us.
The scariest part is not our netas' complete and utter lack of conscience. That was expected. It's not even the age of the attackers, although that comes a close second. (Twenty is when you get muddle-headed over a girl, not over a religion.) The thing that really shakes me up is a quote I read somewhere a few days ago: "Every country gets the government it deserves".
Are we really like that only?
Every time I think it cannot possibly get worse, or more disgusting, it does. Our politicians outdo themselves in making a comedy out of this tragedy. The joke, unfortunately, is on us.
The scariest part is not our netas' complete and utter lack of conscience. That was expected. It's not even the age of the attackers, although that comes a close second. (Twenty is when you get muddle-headed over a girl, not over a religion.) The thing that really shakes me up is a quote I read somewhere a few days ago: "Every country gets the government it deserves".
Are we really like that only?
Friday, November 14, 2008
I Wonder Why...
1. We Indians get so riled when someone calls us a Third World Country. There are two ways to look at it. If the person is trying to suggest changes for the better, you listen to him. And if it's just Matt Hayden venting some frustration over his team's loss, you smile reeeally wide and move on.
We tend to take everything as an insult to our national pride. Please spare me the jingoism. As Shahrukh says in Swades, "yeh desh mahaan nahi hai, par zaroor mahaan ban sakta hai."
2. Rakhi Sawant's break-up gets so much publicity.
3. I read/ watch the news about Rakhi Sawant's break-up.
4. Inspite of so many self-help gurus and live examples, we are still scared to dream big. Listen to Nelson Mandela:
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. As we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Don't understand/agree with this completely. But definitely worth some thought.
Bas bhai, bohot gyan ho gaya. Aur woh bhi Friday ko.
We tend to take everything as an insult to our national pride. Please spare me the jingoism. As Shahrukh says in Swades, "yeh desh mahaan nahi hai, par zaroor mahaan ban sakta hai."
2. Rakhi Sawant's break-up gets so much publicity.
3. I read/ watch the news about Rakhi Sawant's break-up.
4. Inspite of so many self-help gurus and live examples, we are still scared to dream big. Listen to Nelson Mandela:
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. As we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Don't understand/agree with this completely. But definitely worth some thought.
Bas bhai, bohot gyan ho gaya. Aur woh bhi Friday ko.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Quote of the day.
Sheila Dikshit, Chief Minister of Delhi, had this to say about the murder of journo Soumya Viswanath as she was driving home at three in the morning in Delhi:
"ONE SHOULD NOT BE ADVENTUROUS."
My first reaction was a sardonic smile. This is the woman in charge of the capital of the world's largest democracy. Then, I felt amazed. Forget about right or wrong, one would have to be incredibly stupid to make a remark like that under intense public and media scrutiny.
It's not like she was on a train, or travelling by cab. She was driving her own car. The murder was obviously well-planned. What could have been done to prevent it? I don't know. Maybe it is a bit much to expect security patrolling everywhere post midnight. Yes, we know that perverts and lunatics prowl the streets at that time. And yes, her parents will probably regret letting her stay back at work for as long as they live. But is a little compassion too much to ask for? Forget being 'adventurous' at night Ms. Dikshit, I've heard it is difficult for women to feel safe in Delhi during the day. So why don't you focus on getting that bit right before proceeding to question Soumya's 'sense of adventure'?
"ONE SHOULD NOT BE ADVENTUROUS."
My first reaction was a sardonic smile. This is the woman in charge of the capital of the world's largest democracy. Then, I felt amazed. Forget about right or wrong, one would have to be incredibly stupid to make a remark like that under intense public and media scrutiny.
It's not like she was on a train, or travelling by cab. She was driving her own car. The murder was obviously well-planned. What could have been done to prevent it? I don't know. Maybe it is a bit much to expect security patrolling everywhere post midnight. Yes, we know that perverts and lunatics prowl the streets at that time. And yes, her parents will probably regret letting her stay back at work for as long as they live. But is a little compassion too much to ask for? Forget being 'adventurous' at night Ms. Dikshit, I've heard it is difficult for women to feel safe in Delhi during the day. So why don't you focus on getting that bit right before proceeding to question Soumya's 'sense of adventure'?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
